Life throws a hell of a lot of obstacles our way sometimes. It’s not easy: life is messy, complicated, difficult and confusing; though luckily it can also be wonderful, magical and inspiring at other moments! And what makes life all of these things, more than anything else, is the people you encounter in it, both good and bad. When you find the good ones, hold on tight and keep them around, and you’ll be in for incredible adventures and long-lasting memories. When you meet the bad ones, get rid of them and their toxic energy as fast as you possibly can.
It’s inevitable really, that all of us will encounter people who bring no benefit to our lives whatsoever, and instead sap away our happiness, our energy, our enthusiasm. Some of them are a lot harder to spot than others too; it must be so much harder to ditch someone who you considered a friend, than someone you never really liked. But however hard it is, these people have to go. Jump ship on all those toxic relationships, and watch your happiness levels soar. What’s the point in keeping around people who are holding you back from what you want, intentionally or otherwise?
But sometimes it isn’t so easy. Sometimes these people get in, they trash your whole life, then leave as fast as they came, leaving you to pick up the pieces. Sometimes you might find the courage to lose them yourself, but you’re still left in tatters afterwards. But finding the strength to come back from someone like that, that’s when you find a side of yourself that you might have never known before. And you will, you’ll do it. You’ll prove that you are better than that person, that you are brave and strong and confident and independent. That you can survive, and even thrive, without them. It may take time, especially if you let them entrench themselves in your life. Things cannot heal overnight, but eventually they will. We all do it: we make mistakes, but we learn from them, we grow and change and become better people for it. So while I wouldn’t go so far as to thank those toxic people, we can all turn their negative influence into something good eventually.
And we can’t just stop the bad ones from throwing spanners into our lives; we have to stop ourselves too. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. You can’t wait around for the good people to make you life better; while they can, and will, improve it, at the end of the day, it’s your life and you have to make it. No one is going to come along and magically give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You have to work hard, take risks, and do whatever it is that will make you happy. And if some lovely people come along and make that easier, well then great! But don’t keep waiting around for them. Go out and do it now, whatever that “it” is for you. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish too, and remember to put yourself first. Especially don’t change for those people who aren’t worth it!
Absolutely, be open to people, in the hopes of finding those good ones, and then use them to lean upon, for support and friendship and love. But also balance that with a little wariness to spot the bad ones, and enough confidence and independence to survive on your own until you’ve found your good ones. And remember that this is your life and you are in control. At the end of the day, it’s all about being happy.