Everyone has felt sad at some point in their life. I am absolutely certain of this fact. I’m also certain that the vast majority of people have been told at least once to get a grip, or to stop being such a baby about it. Sometimes this is necessary, sometimes people need a harsh wake-up call to force them to stop moping, particularly if what’s making them sad can be remedied.
What is not ok is people telling you that your problems are stupid, that they don’t matter. People telling you that your life is good enough, and that you have no right to be sad. That others have it far worse than you do. And maybe that’s true, maybe your problems are pretty minor compared to others; people with illnesses, people without homes or food or family. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to feel sad. Yes, it’s important to help people who have it worse than you, and to appreciate what you do have. But everyone’s problems matter to them, no matter how big or small they are.
No one can tell you how you should or should not feel. No one should be made to feel guilty for feeling sad – let’s face it, that’s only going to make things worse. Humans are built with a wide range of emotions, and what triggers them is different to everyone. So just because one person thinks your problem is insignificant doesn’t mean that you feel the same way. And when you confess your sadness, only to be told that you’re being silly, you stop confessing it. You bottle up your emotions and don’t let anyone in, for fear of being told the same thing again, for appearing weak and pathetic. And sometimes this makes the problem worse, even resulting in depression.
What we need is for people to understand each other. To listen to each others problems and not judge them. Know when tough love is going to help, and when it’s not. Try to see things from the others point of view – what may not be a big deal to you could be causing them no end of worry. We’re a little messed up in one way or another, so let’s try to not make it any worse.
Song: Cry With You – Hunter Hayes